This is one trait I consider "good" that I "inherited" from my Dad.
All the time I was growing up, when someone needed my Dad's help, he gave it, and he did it almost to a fault. He was not a giver of money, but he was certainly generous with his time. Sure, maybe he was just doing it to get out of the house, but I think it's just part of who he is. I think he never considers not helping someone when they ask.
One Christmas morning, we were driving to Owasso to my mom's side family get-together. We had to stop at a convenience store for something (probably cigarettes), and we pulled in along side a guy with the hood up on his car. I remember Dad going into the store, getting whatever he had to get, then coming back out. On his way back to the car, we heard him ask the guy if he needed help.
Thirty minutes later, we were still parked in front of the store, and Dad was still helping this guy, getting crap all over his "nice" clothes. I'm pretty sure they actually got the car started.
Long story to say this... when people ask me for help, I have a tough time saying no. In fact, I try to always, always help people when they ask. The flip side of that is that when I ask someone for help, or a favor, I sort of expect the same treatment. When I don't get it, which is the case more often than not, I pretty much write that person off. Right or wrong, that's what I do?
You know why? Because it feels like I can't count on them. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not every person I write off, and I don't just do it every time someone says no. Most the time, it happens when said person has asked the same favor of me a number of times, but then refuses me when I ask.
It's sorta like when the insurance company denies a claim.
Fuck them.
This sounds like I get mad whenever people tell me no. Thing is, I kinda do. Because I don't typically ask for favors. I don't ask for help. So if I am asking for help or a favor, there's a reason. Maybe that's a personality fault of mine.
Anyway... /end rant
7 comments:
Wow, I'm completely the same. In fact, I just had a long conversation with a friend of mine, regarding another mutual friend. I was being asked for help, and of course I'm going to help. That's what I do. If a friend asks, then they must really need it.
Well, there's the flaw in the line of thought. See, you [Cory] and I don't ask for help unless we really need it. There are people out there that are accustomed to not only getting turned down, but are 'turn you down' kind of people. So there approach varies from ours in that they carpet bomb their friends with the help question, anticipating a certain percentage of rejection. When I ask for help, I only ask those people I know will say yes, or those people that I feel owe it to me since I have helped them in the past.
See the difference. But I know the feeling. I have to watch it too, because there are times I know I'm being taken advantage of by friends simply because they know that if they ask, I'll be there. THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO. It seems to really differentiate my deep friends and my surface friends.
I'm with you on this one as well.
I will help out almost anyone with anything... unless I have something better to do, which turns out to be most of the time.
Actually I have some friends I know I can count on for help and won't ever expect anything in return, these are the friends I will also help whenever they need it. Other friends I know I can't count on at all, sometimes I will still ask them if desperate or just to see if I should still consider them someone I can't count on. Usually I will still help these friends anyway, I don't have a lot of friends like this though.
For the record, Beldar counts as a "surface friend"
It's funny how different we are on things. For the most part, I expect people to help if I ask them, but I also expect that if they can't for whatever reason that they won't... but the reality is some people will say yes whether they really can or want to or not. I'm not like that. I'm more of a "me first" person than you are, as we are all aware. lol
@BC - just want to tell you "NO" now in the event you ever consider asking for help with anything.
suck it
I'm just like Addo Annie. And the fact that I can't say no overfills my plate but it is ok.
David is the same way. And we both suck at asking for help.
The insurance situation is beyond sucky.
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