Poop Sabotage

Listen all yall...

Since Steph has started working in OKC, it's fallen to me to be Mr. Mom in the mornings and evenings.

Kaia and I have fallen into a routine of sorts. My alarm goes off and I have to wake her up, which I usually start doing by turning on the TV. Depending on what time it is, it'll be Dora or The Backyardigans, both of which I abhor.

Anyway, she'll wake up, flop around like a fish for a couple of minutes, perhaps lay on me and stare at the wall, then eventually, she'll sit up and clap for the cartoons. At that point, we do the diaper change and swap the pajamas for play clothes.

Then I put her in the pack n play and go take a shower. Sometimes, she clings to me and gives me the don't-put-me-down-daddy hug, sometimes she just sits quietly down and watches the television.

Before you say it, yes, I know. TV rots her brain. But I've gotta take a shower and I really don't relish the idea of her sitting there and crying the whole 20 minutes I'm in the bathoom. Thus, cartoons.

After I get out of the shower, iron my clothes and get dressed, I get her out of the pack n play and let her loose. Usually, I say, "Kaia, let's go get in your high chair and have some breakfast," and she'll walk right to her high chair, jabbering all the way.

For breakfast, she usually has a bowl of oatmeal, some milk or juice and either some fruit or yogurt, depending on how late I'm running. The oatmeal and milk/juice are not optional.

After that, we clean her face and hands, then pull her out of the high chair to prep for getting into the car seat. At this point in the morning, I'm in full-on hurry the hell up mode. I'm always late, so I'm always hurrying.

Kaia knows this, so sometime between finishing her breakfast and me getting the keys off the hook, she usually poops.

That means I have to take her back to the back room, strip her down, change a poopy diaper, then get her redressed. Kaia's not a fan of getting her diaper changed. She'll usually cry at some point, unless you can keep her distracted. Usually, this is done by handing her a clean diaper to play with, but sometimes, she chucks that across the room like a boomerang. It's a battle of wills to be sure, and I think I only win because of superior body weight.

I've taken to calling this routine of hers the Poop Sabotage. She doesn't do it every day, just on those days when she knows I'm trying to get us out of the house.

Perceptive this one is.

Sabotage aside, today was pretty crappy. Kaia woke up before Steph left, and didn't want mommy to leave. We got past that particular crisis, but when I dropped her off at daycare, she didnt' want to let go of me either. Usually, she can't wait to go see Miss Hillary, but today, she clung to me and bawled. And when we made the handoff anyway, she went hysterical. I could hear her crying all the way out the door.

That my friends is the worst feeling ever. :(