(I started this blog entry last week, but never finished it.)
Last thursday, in addition to it being my mom's birthday, was the year anniversary of my practice heart attack.
I haven't had another one (anxiety attack) as big as that, but I've had a lot of little ones and pretty much persistent minor symptoms. For instance, the chest pain comes and goes fairly often; don't worry, I've done ample research on the differences between chest pain for anxiety attack and chest pain for a heart attack). The shortness of breath. The random lightheadedness.
Now, I don't freak out about it, though. I tend to try to look for what's causing it. What is the trigger? Lack of sleep? Something going on? See, I've realized in the last year that even though I might not feel stressed, I still carry a certain level of anxiety with me about life in general. I'm just an anxious guy.
And it's worse since the big attack because I pay way too much attention to the symptoms associated with it. If I'm quasi-asleep and hear a noise and fight or flight kicks in, it wrecks me.
Day-to-day, I suppose.
Anyway, so I haven't had caffeine in over a year, other than the random sip here and there. I don't really miss it all that much. Well, I don't miss the soda. I miss the coffee. I love coffee. And I know, I can probably get away with DeCaf, but, c'mon, what's the point? I had planned on drinking a coke or dr. pepper on the anniversary of the day, as a way of sort of giving this anxiety shit the finger. I'm tired of letting it control me. But the day went by and I forgot to do it, and now I just don't see the point.
I think I'm getting better. I think another year or so, I'll be able to get off the anxiety meds.
Other Things
You Facebook junkies probably read Steph's update about the Kaia medical bill situation. If you didn't, the short version is this. We were billed approximately $18,000 for Kaia's birth, and about a month after she was born, found out the hospital we were sent to was not in our network, and as such, the insurance company wasn't honoring our "out of pocket max" for the year, meaning, we're on the hook for the entire $18,000. Part of that was other stuff, but the bulk of it was $12,000+ to Mercy (the hosptial).
We weren't given any option as to what hospital we were sent to. Our Doc in Stillwater picked. We have a letter from her saying as much. Sure, we appealed. Twice. All the while, we've been paying a little every month to avoid defaulting on the bill. But because we can't pay the hospital the $270something a month they want, they sent it to a collections agency. That's standard operating procedure, apparently.
But this week, something else happened. The prior collections agency sent it to another collections agency, and that one is telling us if we don't pay the whole $12,000 plus within three months (I think), they'll drop it all on our credit report. That'd pretty much screw us right out of a new house.
Better still, they think we can afford to pay them $400 a month because of our income. If I gave them $400 a month, that would pretty much wipe out our grocery and gas money.
This isn't a pity party. I'm pretty pissed off about it all and we're seriously thinking about getting a lawyer and sicking it on the insurance company. What's the alternative? Bankruptcy?
I'm considering writing the whole saga into a story for UT. I think Keith would probably run it. If I go ahead with that, I'm going to tackle the insurance company headfirst. I expect a large round of "no comments" out of them.
I am not impartial on the health care reform that's being attempted by Obama. When he mentions those middle class Americans who have to file bankruptcy from medical bills... that's us. We had insurance, and still this is happening. Far as I know, we've done everything correctly except know in advance that if our baby was to come early, we'd have to have it outside of Stillwater (who the fuck knows that ahead of time) and that we should know which hospitals were in our network. That's seriously the insurance company's stance on this. We should have known ahead of time.
Fuck you, Waterstone. If we get our credit fucked because of this, I swear to christ I will do everything in my power to bring as much bad publicity to that company as I possibly can.
This, my friends, is how activists are born.
Oh, and This Movie Trailer
Badfuckingass.
4 comments:
Man, that sucks. You can imagine my thoughts on this. (without great insurance and more than my fair share of luck, I'd be either bankrupt or dead)
But don't give up hope yet. I know how insurmountable that seems right now, but you'd be surprised how these things can work out.
Wow man, that's incredible. This country really blows sometimes.
Like said above, you'd be surprised how these things have a way of working themselves out. Fuck insurance companies.
dude, you were right, that trailer was bad fucking ass.
but man, I can't believe how bad you are getting buttfucked on this. holy shit. this kind of shit is not supposed to happen. I mean seriously, I really can't believe it. not that I don't believe you, i just can't believe this kind of fucked up shit can happen. what the fuck are people supposed to do?
about 200 people were outside my building last week protesting something about healthcare, it was pretty vague from what I could tell - not to mention that no one in the building had any idea they were even out there unless they happen to go outside between 1 and 3 pm. but at any rate, when I saw them I was thinking, "fuck off, i have healthcare, go fuck yourselves, i'm trying to go to lunch over here." I guess you just don't really realize how fucked up the system is until it bites you or someone you know in the ass.
does this post sound like I've been drinking? I'm at work still, it's late, 9:30, I'm annoyed and your story doesn't improve my mood. I have had a few drinks though.
i'm going to stop typing now.
First: Happy Anniversary! I know it sucks but you will be fine. Be careful going off the meds or changing them. I went through a really tough couple of months doing that but I feel really great now. I feel like I am human again and can socialize. I know a lot of people with our condition and once you understand it and the people around you know, it is much easier. Congrats on the caffeine. It was hard for me. I sometimes milk an ice tea. (drink little by little all day) But if I go way out and have a dew, I look like a tweeker. LOL
I think it is totally bullshit what you guys are going through with the insurance. Total BS! They better pay. I recently (July) got health insurance because Abomb is working for Union schools, his insurance is free but mine is $697 a month. They don't check pre-existing. I have never had surgery, I have never been diagnosed with anything and the only time I go to the doc is for allergies and annual check up. I tell him that I should self-insure because it is so expensive. And now seeing what you all are going through makes me feel the same. $700 times 12? $8400 a year for health care is crazy! And then there are the things they don't cover which got us a bill for $58 for an appt and our co-pay of $35. It is really crazy. I wish Obama would reform but regulate the industry. I am so sorry you guys are going through this and makes me so irrate. Your medical should pay that because it was it was critical and not something you had to "discuss".
Post a Comment